06. Gifts to Arthur

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July 2023

First of all, a big thank you for all of you who donated to this account when Ann was in the final stages of her illness.  We so appreciated having the holes in the governmental safety net filled by the Tribe.  There are those who bury a spouse and then have to face the fact that their personal finances are irreparably shattered.

We did not have that experience.  I never had to liquidate any capital assets in order to provide the care Ann needed.

Now we move forward with the journey of bereavement which has a mind of its own.  I did not often go to the office for two and a half years, since I could mostly office from home.  Now I am only going two half days a week, with plans to increase hours over time.

I still do a fair amount of my admin work from home.

In my spare time, I am modifying the house, removing tangible things we put in place when Ann was an invalid and changing some of the areas where she suffered the most, in an attempt to forget that chapter and to cleanse the land of those traumas.

I have had sundry generous offers for me to come somewhere and be pampered by different members of the Tribe and have turned them all down, so far.  There are two reasons.  I have always grieved my diversity of losses deeply and privately.  Nothing new here.

But the other is that this land is so life giving to me.  In the first year we were here, I was able to host three events where we read the whole Bible through, in each event – about 96 hours with a large team, reading around the clock.

When Ann could no longer tolerate groups of strangers coming day and night, I stopped that approach but continued various strategies for the different themes.  So far, I have done The Holiness of God, The Love of God, The Power of God, and now am working on The Presence of God.

And God IS here.  The land is a deep solace for me, and I often am wandering around just savoring the memories and the active treasure of His Presence here.

The house, not so much, but I am working on making a uniform package with house and land.

So that brings us to this page.  I originally set it up, under protest, years ago because some people really wanted to donate directly to me, and not just to the Kingdom ventures.  It was not based on a need from me, nor a request from me.  I was humoring you.

Then came the marathon with Ann, and it definitely was a need and I expressed it as such.

That need is no longer there, but I have learned something.

During the really hard time, I found emotional stability in the garage, working with wood.  I didn’t need to finish anything, there was just the joy of building something instead of watching someone die, and the joy of handling beauty, instead of ugliness.

I dreamed about buying a planer for the big pieces of rough sawn lumber I tinker with.  The price was high.  I had the money, but simply could not justify spending that much for a tool I would only use sporadically.

I do not even class myself as a wood worker and certainly not an artisan – just a garage hobbyist.

The thought to buy it came periodically, and I sturdily resisted the “temptation” to purchase such an extravagance.  One month, there was a huge amount of money donated from various sources.  It was more than the cost of that machine plus another.

God made it plain that HE sent the money for me to buy THOSE two, and it didn’t bother His sense of responsible use of resources for me not to use them every week.

So, I bought them, paid in full up front, and have enjoyed using them very much.

Sporadically.

And God made the point that His purpose for this page is for intimacy, not for dominion or meeting needs.

I get it.  Finally.

Just FYI.  Nothing donated here is tax deductible for you, and SLG will disburse it to me as income, with taxes withheld, so we are at the highest level of integrity with the Feds.

My life in 2023.  Healing.  And growing in intimacy.

Arthur Burk